post du jour – the crab bucket ~elizabeth gilbert

pathwriter’s note: Liz Gilbert hits the nail on the head again and again, whether she’s sharing her own thoughts or the thoughts of others. This is her Facebook post from yesterday (12/1/14).

THE CRAB BUCKET

Dear Ones –

A few months ago, I was on stage with Rob Bell — minister, teacher, family man, great guy — and a woman in the audience asked him this question:

“I’m making all these important changes in my life, and I’m growing in so many new and exciting ways, but my family is resisting me, and I feel like their resistance is holding me back. They seem threatened by my evolution as a person, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Rob said, “Well, of course they’re threatened by your evolution as a person. You’re disrupting their entire world view. Remember that a family is basically just a big crab bucket — whenever one of the crabs climbs out and tries to escape, the other crabs will grab hold of him and pull him back down.”

Which I thought was a VERY unexpected comment to come from a minister and a family man!

Rob surprised me even more, though, as he went on to say, “Families are institutions — just like a church, just like the army, just like a government. Their sense of their own stability depends upon keeping people in their correct place. Even if that stability is based on dysfunction or oppression. When you move out of your ‘correct place’ you threaten their sense of order, and they may very likely try to pull you back down.”

trust and the threads of time, part 1

I’ve been juggling a lot since last spring. Some of the juggling has had to do with external, day-to-day stuff out in the physical world, but most of the juggling has been in my mind/heart/spirit/soul. I’m creating what is, at heart, a completely new life—saying goodbye to some things, hello to others, and trying to figure out how to tweak still others and keep them a part of the whole as I go forward.

To be honest, I’m a little worn out from all the changes in my life over the last few years, and frankly, I’d just as soon take a break. My faith and trust muscles have been getting quite the workout. However, a couple of things happened in the last week that have shifted my perspective, albeit in an odd, out-of-left-field kind of way. This post is about one of them.

Last Saturday, I bought a rug for my living room. Mind you, we’re not talking about a major purchase here. I have a small cottage, with a small living room to match, and I’ve never spent more than $100 on a rug. As a lifelong independent/freelance artist, my decorating budget has never been large, which has, shall we say, encouraged me to be creative in more ways than one when it comes to furnishing my home. Luckily, my taste has never run to “new” things, and I love doing DIY projects, so I’ve been quite happy to inherit furniture from family and friends and buy shabby thrift-store-furniture-with-potential, as long as the pieces suited my personal style. I’ve ended up with a home that I like and that visitors regularly call “warm and inviting.”

The rug I bought from Target six or so years ago was a perfectly nice rug when I bought it, and I received a number of compliments about it over the years. However, it’s lived through the usual pet accidents and incidents and a fair amount of general wear and tear during that time, and it’s been looking pretty sad for a while now—rips and tears and places where you can see through to the backing. In the last few months, it started to smell musty and old, like it had been slept on for many years by my dog (which, of course, it had). It was time for a new rug.

Before we get to the new rug, however, I need to back up and tell the story of the amazing Restoration Hardware chenille throw. (I know this post probably sounds like it belongs on a home decorating blog, but bear with me.)

quote du jour ~eckhart

He who would be what he ought to be must stop being what he is.

~Meister Eckhart

yes, but…

It’s funny. You go through your life (intuitive person that you are) following your inner guidance, listening to that still, small voice…until. Until the still, small voice tells you something you don’t want to hear, something that, for whatever reason, scares the hell out of you.

That’s when all that allowing yourself to be led, all that going with the flow, all that surrendering to the call flies right out the window. Suddenly, you’re having a knock-down, drag-out fight with your inner guidance, digging in your heels and saying, “Yes, but…” or even “Hell, no!” Well, that was me about six months ago.

Except for a few stories I wrote in my junior high language arts classes, all the writing I’ve ever done has been non-fiction: journalism (mostly dance reviews and features, a few gardening articles), marketing copy, press releases, business and fundraising letters, grant-writing, blog posts, etc. etc. However, last fall, I started a freelance writing job that involved writing short articles for children, including short fiction pieces. I was surprised to find that not only were the fiction pieces easier to write than I’d expected, but I also enjoyed writing them, and the client seemed to really like my stories.

Great, right? It’s always nice when you enjoy your day job.

Then, sometime around the beginning of March, I started getting this (for lack of a better term) “nudge” from my inner guidance. The nudge was saying, in so many words, “You need to be writing fiction.”

note to self (7)

Do not fret over the places where you don’t “fit in” or the people who don’t accept you or connect with you. These are indicators of your path as well, showing you where you are not supposed to linger or expend your energy. Love these people and places while you are with them, but allow them to flow away, to recede, when it is time for you to move on. Take with you the learnings they bring you, but do not cling or wonder why they do not stay.

~pathwriter’s guidance journal

be the lake…

It was on another shore, later in life, that I sat on a worn cliff… I spent that afternoon in silence, just watching the vast ocean spray the stone and re-form itself, coating every surface, as if to soothe the stone’s hardness. I came away convinced that the sea is a great teacher of receiving. Always rising and falling like the clear blood of the earth, the formless water receives every thing that enters it. It rejects nothing. Always transparent, the open water gently covers everything; softening whatever it touches, giving itself completely without losing any of itself. The more I watched, the more I realized that the sea is both strong and gentle, sensitive and unwavering, it only takes the shape of what holds it or enters it. Whatever breaks its surface ripples through its entire being. So much like the heart of God. So much like the heart of experience, God’s smaller face in the world. I came away with spray on my face wanting to be like the sea, to love like the sea: to receive and give myself to everything I meet, softening its way while making it glisten.

~Mark Nepo, Seven Thousand Ways to Listen

I’ve searched in recent years for an image that could be a touchstone for me when life’s storms blow up, when I’m faced with difficult people or situations, when I encounter pain and heartache both in myself and in others. I’m one of those people who, for better or worse, is like a tuning fork for other people’s feelings and moods—what they’re feeling resonates in me, and I often have to distance myself to regain my balance.

quote du jour ~berry – it may be…

It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
we have come to our real work;
and that when we no longer know which way to go,
we have begun our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that rings.

~Wendell Berry

note to self (6)

What you are “supposed” to do is known only by your heart/soul. When you are seeking your purpose, your path, you must look within. Do not look to some outside source. That would be like looking to someone else and asking them if you are hungry or thirsty or in need of rest. You are here to fulfill the unique expression of your soul, to contribute to the fabric of the universe by playing your unique role in it.

Each cell in the human body has a role to play. When it deviates from that role, due to cancer or some other illness, the body suffers. So too does the world suffer if you do not fulfill your unique place in it. You are the only one who can ultimately know what that role is. You are the only one who can accurately interpret the message your soul is trying to convey. Listen. Go within. Pay attention. You will learn everything you need to know by doing this.

~pathwriter’s guidance journal

note to self (5)

Every person has the ability and potential to heal the world. Every day, as you encounter people and events, you have the opportunity to choose how you will engage with that person and react/respond to that event. The choice you make changes the world for good or ill, depending on what you choose.

~pathwriter’s guidance journal

just breathe…

note to self

pathwriter’s note: I wrestled all evening with what to post tonight. The recent posting of “note to self (4)” had me looking back at my other “note to self” posts, and as I re-read this one, I realized that this was what I was supposed to post this evening. I certainly needed the reminders herein tonight…hoping it resonates with some of you out there as well.

pathwriter

you must trust.
you must be aware.
you must open your eyes.
you must ask for help.
you must trust.
you must accept that you are extraordinary—in the way that each person is extraordinary in his or her own way.
you are called to be

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note to self (4)

You will know what you need to know when you need to know it.

~pathwriter