This has been a heck of a year. I’ve been through a lot, come close to giving up more than once, and, in the end, managed to pick myself back up and keep going. I can’t say that it was fun to go through a lot of what I’ve gone through, but I can say that there were surprising gifts and blessings and joys that often accompanied the crappy, stressful stuff. Something would fall apart…but then something even better would come along. I would be sure something wasn’t going to work out, and then it did. Having to sit with my engine on idle for a few months led to insights about what I want and need in my life that surprised me and have changed the way I look at things. I’m not the same person I was this time last year, and I think that’s a good thing.
I’m still discombobulated (don’t you love that word?) by the unlikeliness of all that’s happened and where it’s landed me. I’m still trying to get a foothold, still trying to figure out who I am going forward. But somehow, in spite all of the craziness of the past year, I’ve managed to keep this blog going. Or maybe I have that backwards. This blog and its readers have been a constant for me in the midst of a wildly unpredictable year. Your “likes” and comments have encouraged me, and knowing you were out there reading—expecting at the very least a quote du jour—kept me posting even when the last thing I felt like doing was write a post or come up with another inspiring, thought-provoking quote. (My thoughts were provoked quite enough, thank you!)
Along the way, more of you kept following pathwriter, in increasing numbers, even during the times when I felt I was neglecting you. One day I looked at my stats to find that I’d somehow passed the 500-follower mark. When (and how) did that happen?
It doesn’t really matter, of course. The only thing that matters, the only thing I really wanted to say when I sat down to write this is thank you. Thank you for following, for reading, for liking, for commenting, for reblogging or sharing my posts on Twitter and Facebook…for any tiny thing you might have done to keep me posting—and thereby, putting one virtual foot in front of the other. Thank you for being part of the reason I didn’t go off the deep end this year. I am truly and deeply grateful.
I can’t seem to get my thoughts together enough these days to write anything coherent about what I’ve been going through lately, so there are a number of unfinished drafts in my posts folder. Perhaps time and distance will provide clarity and insight and the ability to communicate the jumble of events and emotions that have marked the past year, especially the past three or four months, but it’s not going to happen any time soon. I’ve only recently accepted this as being what is and stopped beating myself up for it.
In fact, acceptance of what is seems to be the task in front of me right now. It’s not that I’ve stopped envisioning what I want. I’ve been doing that for some time now, and still do. However, a big part of my struggles of late has been my disappointment that what I’ve envisioned isn’t exactly what’s materialized.
But that’s a subject for another post.
As has always been the case with me, I often look to others to find the words that will express what I want to express or the words that will inspire some shift in my head and my heart. Searching out and sharing the words of others has been a huge part of this blog from the beginning, and in spite of the short circuit in my own head that’s keeping me from writing about my stuff, I’ve managed to continue to post quotes du jour and other articles and readings by writers whose work I admire.
This has been my way of heeding the words of Bhagavan Das, “Be here now” (which inspired the book by Ram Dass). If I can’t write, at least I can continue to share the writing of others. It is what it is. Be here now. Continue reading
It never even crossed my mind when I started a blog that awards might be a part of it, so I was completely unprepared the first time one of my fellow bloggers kindly nominated me for one. The idea still makes me a little uncomfortable. Surprising, perhaps, in light of my theatre and dance background…I shouldn’t mind a little attention, right? But the fact is that I’ve never been good at blowing my own horn. I’ve always danced or sung or designed or written mostly because I love it, and the doing of those things is a reward in itself. I love creating beauty and bringing joy and making magic and shining a little light in the world, and if others like what I do, that’s great. Just knowing that makes me happy enough.
Although I do talk about myself and about things that happen to me in some of my blog posts, I don’t really see pathwriter as being about me. Continue reading
…to all of you who’ve chosen to follow my little blog or stopped by to “like” or comment on a post (or nominate me for an award!). It means a lot. Really. I hope you continue to find things here that inspire you or give you food for thought. I’ve loved following the trails back to your blogs, reading your poetry and essays and stories, viewing your photographs and paintings…so much talent and creativity and vision!
Danielle LaPorte is the author of this take-no-prisoners, inspirational, motivational website. Take some time to look around and read her stuff. I’m a fan.
(Warning: There are a few 4-letter words sprinkled in here and there in her articles, but please don’t let that keep you from hearing the message.)
I was looking at my home page just now, and my glance fell on the “archives” section on the right-hand side of the page. And I thought, “Wow…I’ve been blogging for six months!” (I don’t count the November 2010 entry, because although I “published” that first article in November, I kept the visibility set on “private” until June 2010.)
This really shouldn’t be a big deal. After all, I was a dance critic for twelve years. I’ve had my writing published enough that it shouldn’t be panic-inducing for me to write something and put it out there for people to read. Continue reading
So I have three unfinished drafts for this blog sitting in my posts queue—and that’s only because I trashed a couple of others. I’ve recently been staying fairly busy just trying to keep money coming in, and have also been pretty stressed about one thing or another, so finding the time and the focus to actually sit and write has been a challenge.
This is when that quote comes in—the one that says when we say we don’t have time for something, it actually means we don’t make the time. Guilty as charged, I suppose Continue reading
When I went public with my blogs (this one and my gardening blog, http://goingtoground.wordpress.com) a couple of months ago, the idea was to get myself writing again. I’ve been circling my way back to writing for a few years now, but I realized I needed some sort of structure to work with, and I finally decided that a blog was perfect for my purposes. After all, if people are going to subscribe to your blog, you have to give them something to read, right?
I did okay for the first few weeks. I posted pretty regularly, and I enjoyed it. Some of the posts were “liked” or commented on by others; some of them I even liked. Then I got busy with work (having to make a living sure does get in the way of living sometimes!) and the writing pretty much stopped, but the difference between “pre-blog” and “post-blog” is that now I notice that I’m not writing. Now I’m aware that I want to be, that I miss it. I guess that’s progress.
So…here’s a post about not posting…to get me posting again. It’s a start.